Two more tests this week and an overload of information about increased risks and what could be wrong. Combine that with a good bout of insomnia and that equals me being a total wreck! I am so thankful for my supportive friends, family, and doula. Without their kind words, I would be a lost cause.
So, the good news that I keep repeating over and over to myself is that our daughter is doing great and seems totally healthy and happy inside my belly. That is sooo very comforting.
The part that I am trying to process is that I continue to measure large for fluid. This last test went up significantly. I don't really know how accurate the measurements are, especially those done by different technicians. But, the number seemed to worry the OB at the ultrasound clinic and she launched into a whole laundry list of risks and possible problems that could be causing this condition. Because Cody was there (with Cynthia and Greta too), I held it together throughout her interpretation of the results.
As soon as we were out of the room, I called the midwife on call and totally lost it on the phone. I ended up in their office crying like a fountain. Thankfully, the midwives are so wonderful and comforting. She suggested that we just take this day by day. Today, they learned that my baby is just fine and so there is no risk to staying pregnant for a few more days. I'll go in for more testing on Tuesday and we'll go from there.
It's all very scary. I want to have this baby naturally, but I don't want to put her at increased risk by going that route. I hope to get a better handle on the risk levels of a VBAC with my "condition" at my next appt. Rowdy is starting to worry that I am too focused on a natural birth. I am completely confused. Trying to concentrate on my current job which is too get adequate sleep, clear my head and hopefully shed some of this anxiety so I can think clearer about the best way forward. I just wish everything was normal.......
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