I think I have finally found a happy place amongst the frequent testing and analysis. It has definitely taken a lot of positive thought and trust in my body, but I now feel confident that my little girl is just fine and while they may say my fluid level is "abnormal", it might just be what normal looks like for me. It helps that my AFI hasn't changed much in the last couple of weeks (26-27 pretty steady), so the docs are much calmer about things. It also helps that Sadie, our doula, is very helpful in sifting throught the numbers and giving us the reality check (which is that their estimates are crude guesses at best, so don't give them more weight than they are due!)
Cody and I had a fun adventure after the ultrasound test today. It might be our last hurrah just the two of us for a long while. We spent the day at OMSI together playing and then went to watch an IMAX movie together about the Hubble telescope. It was Cody's first "real" movie! He was a bit scared by how tall the theatre was and by the loudness of the audio track, especially during the launch sequences. But, I think he was in awe of all the cool space shuttle scenes and astronauts fixing the telescope in space. Definitely a day to remember!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Navigating the medical jungle - 37 weeks
Two more tests this week and an overload of information about increased risks and what could be wrong. Combine that with a good bout of insomnia and that equals me being a total wreck! I am so thankful for my supportive friends, family, and doula. Without their kind words, I would be a lost cause.
So, the good news that I keep repeating over and over to myself is that our daughter is doing great and seems totally healthy and happy inside my belly. That is sooo very comforting.
The part that I am trying to process is that I continue to measure large for fluid. This last test went up significantly. I don't really know how accurate the measurements are, especially those done by different technicians. But, the number seemed to worry the OB at the ultrasound clinic and she launched into a whole laundry list of risks and possible problems that could be causing this condition. Because Cody was there (with Cynthia and Greta too), I held it together throughout her interpretation of the results.
As soon as we were out of the room, I called the midwife on call and totally lost it on the phone. I ended up in their office crying like a fountain. Thankfully, the midwives are so wonderful and comforting. She suggested that we just take this day by day. Today, they learned that my baby is just fine and so there is no risk to staying pregnant for a few more days. I'll go in for more testing on Tuesday and we'll go from there.
It's all very scary. I want to have this baby naturally, but I don't want to put her at increased risk by going that route. I hope to get a better handle on the risk levels of a VBAC with my "condition" at my next appt. Rowdy is starting to worry that I am too focused on a natural birth. I am completely confused. Trying to concentrate on my current job which is too get adequate sleep, clear my head and hopefully shed some of this anxiety so I can think clearer about the best way forward. I just wish everything was normal.......
So, the good news that I keep repeating over and over to myself is that our daughter is doing great and seems totally healthy and happy inside my belly. That is sooo very comforting.
The part that I am trying to process is that I continue to measure large for fluid. This last test went up significantly. I don't really know how accurate the measurements are, especially those done by different technicians. But, the number seemed to worry the OB at the ultrasound clinic and she launched into a whole laundry list of risks and possible problems that could be causing this condition. Because Cody was there (with Cynthia and Greta too), I held it together throughout her interpretation of the results.
As soon as we were out of the room, I called the midwife on call and totally lost it on the phone. I ended up in their office crying like a fountain. Thankfully, the midwives are so wonderful and comforting. She suggested that we just take this day by day. Today, they learned that my baby is just fine and so there is no risk to staying pregnant for a few more days. I'll go in for more testing on Tuesday and we'll go from there.
It's all very scary. I want to have this baby naturally, but I don't want to put her at increased risk by going that route. I hope to get a better handle on the risk levels of a VBAC with my "condition" at my next appt. Rowdy is starting to worry that I am too focused on a natural birth. I am completely confused. Trying to concentrate on my current job which is too get adequate sleep, clear my head and hopefully shed some of this anxiety so I can think clearer about the best way forward. I just wish everything was normal.......
Friday, August 27, 2010
De Ja Vu - 36 weeks
Had a growth ultrasound today to estimate how big our little girl is. Drum roll please.... estimate is 7 pounds, 6 ounces. That was slightly lower than my fears, so I was actually relieved. It was neat to see her moving around and opening and closing her mouth. She seems very healthy and even has cute little round cheeks.
Unfortunately, my fluid level was also measuring above average (just like with Cody), so our midwives want to monitor her more closely every week to make sure everything is OK. That means a non-stress test and growth ultrasound every week. Ugh. I fear that will be too much information that could be used to insert doubt about whether I can birth our daughter naturally. I trust our midwives, so I'm trying to process what I have learned from them and stay positive about the tests that they feel are a good idea. However, I feel like this situation is all too familiar and it is hard not to remember how the same scenario played out at the end of my first pregnancy.
Thankfully our doula, Sadie, is helping me remain calm and focused on a natural childbirth. She believes in me and my body to birth my daughter. I will double my efforts to make sure I am doing what I can to help encourage labor. I think the key is going to be getting baby to drop lower despite the fluid, so that she can help get things moving toward a natural labor. Fingers crossed....
Unfortunately, my fluid level was also measuring above average (just like with Cody), so our midwives want to monitor her more closely every week to make sure everything is OK. That means a non-stress test and growth ultrasound every week. Ugh. I fear that will be too much information that could be used to insert doubt about whether I can birth our daughter naturally. I trust our midwives, so I'm trying to process what I have learned from them and stay positive about the tests that they feel are a good idea. However, I feel like this situation is all too familiar and it is hard not to remember how the same scenario played out at the end of my first pregnancy.
Thankfully our doula, Sadie, is helping me remain calm and focused on a natural childbirth. She believes in me and my body to birth my daughter. I will double my efforts to make sure I am doing what I can to help encourage labor. I think the key is going to be getting baby to drop lower despite the fluid, so that she can help get things moving toward a natural labor. Fingers crossed....
Thursday, August 26, 2010
One month and counting! - 36 weeks
This is all starting to seem very real......
Our little baby girl is going to emerge into the wide wide world very soon. And because our midwives think she is on the big side of average, they would prefer her not to delay like her big brother. I have started ramping up all my efforts to help my body get ready for this process. I've been for accupuncture twice already and am drinking raspberry tea again (memories of the gallons I drank trying to encourage Cody to swim toward the light!), plus the evening primrose oil and lots of exercise. You can't say I'm not trying!
Growth ultrasound tomorrow morning to see how big they THINK she is. Always with a grain of salt, considering they were off by over 1.5 pounds with Cody's estimate. But, I fear the estimate will be large again. Even though I've still only gained 22 pounds (within my target!), my belly is measuring bigger than average by over 3 cm.
Well, I know for sure she is a strong one - I can feel it! She has a little move that I affectionately call the "doorknob" - where she sticks out a bony bit as far as she can and then rotates it around like she is searching for something (the exit door perhaps?). It is SO bizarre to watch from the outside. The knob sticks straight out of my belly over an inch!
Cody is very affectionate and protective of his little sister these days. He sings to her and hugs her and gives her lots of kisses and sherberts. He loves to feel her kick and seems genuinely impatient to meet her. I sure hope that lasts!
Now my big challenge is to actually get ready for a new baby to come into our house. I am beginning to nest and have acquired almost everything that I think we need as far as STUFF. It's the organizing and arranging part that I haven't done much of yet. Perhaps this weekend I will be inspired to kick it into high gear. At least packing a hospital bag would be a good idea!
Our little baby girl is going to emerge into the wide wide world very soon. And because our midwives think she is on the big side of average, they would prefer her not to delay like her big brother. I have started ramping up all my efforts to help my body get ready for this process. I've been for accupuncture twice already and am drinking raspberry tea again (memories of the gallons I drank trying to encourage Cody to swim toward the light!), plus the evening primrose oil and lots of exercise. You can't say I'm not trying!
Growth ultrasound tomorrow morning to see how big they THINK she is. Always with a grain of salt, considering they were off by over 1.5 pounds with Cody's estimate. But, I fear the estimate will be large again. Even though I've still only gained 22 pounds (within my target!), my belly is measuring bigger than average by over 3 cm.
Well, I know for sure she is a strong one - I can feel it! She has a little move that I affectionately call the "doorknob" - where she sticks out a bony bit as far as she can and then rotates it around like she is searching for something (the exit door perhaps?). It is SO bizarre to watch from the outside. The knob sticks straight out of my belly over an inch!
Cody is very affectionate and protective of his little sister these days. He sings to her and hugs her and gives her lots of kisses and sherberts. He loves to feel her kick and seems genuinely impatient to meet her. I sure hope that lasts!
Now my big challenge is to actually get ready for a new baby to come into our house. I am beginning to nest and have acquired almost everything that I think we need as far as STUFF. It's the organizing and arranging part that I haven't done much of yet. Perhaps this weekend I will be inspired to kick it into high gear. At least packing a hospital bag would be a good idea!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Beach Therapy - 31 weeks
Just back from a beach vacation in Pacific City with mom and Lori. It was exactly what the doctor ordered - lots of sleep, yummy food, puzzles (the grown up kind!), Carcassone, and frolicking on the beach. We relaxed alot and played with Cody. He was in heaven! Climbing to the top of the dune at Cape Kiwanda was a big highlight. I can't believe he made it that high. Or me with my big belly for that matter!
Mom, Lori and I splurged on a day of shopping in Lincoln City. I got lots of clothes to help me feel a little pretty pregnant for the rest of the summer. Might be a wee bit extravagant, but I am soooo happy to have new bras and clothes that actually fit me and my baby bump. It puts me in a better mood. That's my justification, so there.
Came home to a whole new kitchen. Rowdy orchestrated new counter tops, sink, and re-finished cabinets to happen while we were out of town. It looks lovely. I am still in shock that the black and white geofunk pattern is actually gone! It took us 8 years to do what we swore we would do before we ever moved in, but we finally staked our claim to our house officially by getting rid of those crazy counters! Wahoo!!
Mom, Lori and I splurged on a day of shopping in Lincoln City. I got lots of clothes to help me feel a little pretty pregnant for the rest of the summer. Might be a wee bit extravagant, but I am soooo happy to have new bras and clothes that actually fit me and my baby bump. It puts me in a better mood. That's my justification, so there.
Came home to a whole new kitchen. Rowdy orchestrated new counter tops, sink, and re-finished cabinets to happen while we were out of town. It looks lovely. I am still in shock that the black and white geofunk pattern is actually gone! It took us 8 years to do what we swore we would do before we ever moved in, but we finally staked our claim to our house officially by getting rid of those crazy counters! Wahoo!!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Just the moon and me - 28 weeks
I'm awake waaaay too late, buying cloth diapers by the light of the moon. It might be strange to love cloth diapers so much, but hey - that's who I am! I love the sweet little girl prints and am a total sucker for super soft newborn diapers. I am trying not to spend a ton of money (we did buy enough to diaper Cody after all!), but I want a few special diapers that are soft and girly just for her. So sue me. :)
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Oh sleep, where are you? - 26 weeks
Up at 4 AM again. Can't sleep. Brain won't shut off. Making lists for work, for our weekend trip to the San Juans, for Cody and Rowdy's birthdays coming up, for the baby... I guess there is a lot going on! It didn't help that I forgot to eat protein for dinner and woke up hungry in the middle of the night.
I was in the field for work last week and it was awesome to be back in the mountains again. We did a southeastern Oregon tour and it was so lush and green, due to the late snow melt this year. We even got snowed on just outside of Lakeview! I was the team lead, so I was usually up late planning for the next day and didn't sleep nearly enough. Definitely put me back into my old role, and I appreciated feeling needed. We got a huge amount done. But, I pretty much collapsed when I got home on Friday. It was great to go to yoga and reconnect with the little baby girl inside me.
She is so active these days! I get lots of kicks in my ribs, some of which make me stop what I'm doing and pay attention. She also likes to dance right on top of my bladder, which is a bizarre and uncomfortable feeling. I am definitely thankful for all the movement though, because I have confidence that she is growing and happy in there. Hopefully she likes all the sherbets and kisses she gets from her big brother. :)
I was in the field for work last week and it was awesome to be back in the mountains again. We did a southeastern Oregon tour and it was so lush and green, due to the late snow melt this year. We even got snowed on just outside of Lakeview! I was the team lead, so I was usually up late planning for the next day and didn't sleep nearly enough. Definitely put me back into my old role, and I appreciated feeling needed. We got a huge amount done. But, I pretty much collapsed when I got home on Friday. It was great to go to yoga and reconnect with the little baby girl inside me.
She is so active these days! I get lots of kicks in my ribs, some of which make me stop what I'm doing and pay attention. She also likes to dance right on top of my bladder, which is a bizarre and uncomfortable feeling. I am definitely thankful for all the movement though, because I have confidence that she is growing and happy in there. Hopefully she likes all the sherbets and kisses she gets from her big brother. :)
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