This could be it. I've waited so long to feel what labor feels like, and now I think I might just get my chance!
Last night, Rowdy and I went on a 'last hurrah date' while Mom and Lori took Cody to his special water fountain and out for mac-n-cheese at Marco's. We had a lovely dinner sitting outside at Wildwood. While we were there, my contractions started getting more noticeable and frequent. Still in the mildly uncomfortable arena, but definitely all-over contractions, including down low - which I took as a good sign.
After dinner, we walked up to Papa Haydn's to splurge on decadent dessert. The walk was longer than I remembered (10-12 blocks maybe?) and the stronger contractions made it pretty challenging to concentrate on our conversation while walking. Dessert was HEAVENLY - Rowdy had the cheesecake and I had a chocolate truffle cake. Blissful.
Because I haven't been sleeping much lately, I was determined to get real rest. Sadie suggested I take a homeopathic remedy for sleep, so I did and fell into a lovely slumber. The contractions have been strong enough to wake me up throughout the night at times, but afterward I could get back to sleep. Everytime I've gone to the bathroom since bedtime, I've noticed something that could be from my mucus plug. All good signs.
Now I'm up in the moonlight at 4:30 AM ('my' time in recent weeks) because I was thirsty and couldn't stop thinking about labor. It feels eminent, which is a new feeling for me. I welcome the contractions. They are comforting to me, even in their increasing discomfort. I can feel our little girl moving down and squirming against the pressure of the contractions. She usually does a little stretching when each one is over. They are every 6 minutes right now and VERY noticeable (i.e. my breathing changes and I feel the need to move my hips during each one). I will try to get some more rest and then hope for real labor to begin tomorrow.
I can't describe how excited I am to birth our little girl into this world. I have very high hopes that we will hold her in our arms very soon. And while I will be happy however she is born as long as she is healthy and strong, I wish very much to be able to birth her naturally the way my body was designed to do. I can feel how strong my body is and I want to give it the chance to do what it clearly knows how to do. I want to experience the miracle of childbirth - that is my wish.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
De Ja Vu again - 39 weeks
Well, here we are again. Tomorrow is my due date. I have a good sized baby in my belly (just shy of 8 lbs by last estimate), with very little sign that she is preparing to come out. My favorite midwife Chris checked my again on Tuesday and said I hadn't changed since last week. Still barely a fingertip dialated and baby is floating up high. Lots of contractions, but they aren't doing a heck of a lot. Sound oh so familiar??
Chris thinks they will have to help me out in some way before my body can go into labor for real. She is willing to try the balloon method of helping my cervix to dialate (a little fluid filled balloon puts pressure on my cervix - usually gets it to 3 cm), and then try to put a leak in my bag of waters. We decided to wait until late next week before going to such measures.
Last day of work is tomorrow. I wasn't able to complete everything that I wanted to do of course, but I feel like I will be able to leave it behind for awhile and concentrate on this next adventure. Today was a really positive day, as I was getting lots of calls from our field crews to help them troublshoot problems, which made me feel really useful. Bill even said that he was really going to miss having me around to help him bounce ideas off of. I like feeling that they will miss me and be happy to have me back in January. I'll definitely miss the funnest parts of my job - helping to fix the problems in the field. Someday I want to get back out there!
Mom and Lori get here tomorrow. I'm worried that the extra pressure to have a baby sooner rather than later will be stressful. Fingers crossed that all will be well and our baby girl will come of her own accord soon.
Chris thinks they will have to help me out in some way before my body can go into labor for real. She is willing to try the balloon method of helping my cervix to dialate (a little fluid filled balloon puts pressure on my cervix - usually gets it to 3 cm), and then try to put a leak in my bag of waters. We decided to wait until late next week before going to such measures.
Last day of work is tomorrow. I wasn't able to complete everything that I wanted to do of course, but I feel like I will be able to leave it behind for awhile and concentrate on this next adventure. Today was a really positive day, as I was getting lots of calls from our field crews to help them troublshoot problems, which made me feel really useful. Bill even said that he was really going to miss having me around to help him bounce ideas off of. I like feeling that they will miss me and be happy to have me back in January. I'll definitely miss the funnest parts of my job - helping to fix the problems in the field. Someday I want to get back out there!
Mom and Lori get here tomorrow. I'm worried that the extra pressure to have a baby sooner rather than later will be stressful. Fingers crossed that all will be well and our baby girl will come of her own accord soon.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Finding my baby zen - 39 weeks
I think I have finally found a happy place amongst the frequent testing and analysis. It has definitely taken a lot of positive thought and trust in my body, but I now feel confident that my little girl is just fine and while they may say my fluid level is "abnormal", it might just be what normal looks like for me. It helps that my AFI hasn't changed much in the last couple of weeks (26-27 pretty steady), so the docs are much calmer about things. It also helps that Sadie, our doula, is very helpful in sifting throught the numbers and giving us the reality check (which is that their estimates are crude guesses at best, so don't give them more weight than they are due!)
Cody and I had a fun adventure after the ultrasound test today. It might be our last hurrah just the two of us for a long while. We spent the day at OMSI together playing and then went to watch an IMAX movie together about the Hubble telescope. It was Cody's first "real" movie! He was a bit scared by how tall the theatre was and by the loudness of the audio track, especially during the launch sequences. But, I think he was in awe of all the cool space shuttle scenes and astronauts fixing the telescope in space. Definitely a day to remember!
Cody and I had a fun adventure after the ultrasound test today. It might be our last hurrah just the two of us for a long while. We spent the day at OMSI together playing and then went to watch an IMAX movie together about the Hubble telescope. It was Cody's first "real" movie! He was a bit scared by how tall the theatre was and by the loudness of the audio track, especially during the launch sequences. But, I think he was in awe of all the cool space shuttle scenes and astronauts fixing the telescope in space. Definitely a day to remember!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Navigating the medical jungle - 37 weeks
Two more tests this week and an overload of information about increased risks and what could be wrong. Combine that with a good bout of insomnia and that equals me being a total wreck! I am so thankful for my supportive friends, family, and doula. Without their kind words, I would be a lost cause.
So, the good news that I keep repeating over and over to myself is that our daughter is doing great and seems totally healthy and happy inside my belly. That is sooo very comforting.
The part that I am trying to process is that I continue to measure large for fluid. This last test went up significantly. I don't really know how accurate the measurements are, especially those done by different technicians. But, the number seemed to worry the OB at the ultrasound clinic and she launched into a whole laundry list of risks and possible problems that could be causing this condition. Because Cody was there (with Cynthia and Greta too), I held it together throughout her interpretation of the results.
As soon as we were out of the room, I called the midwife on call and totally lost it on the phone. I ended up in their office crying like a fountain. Thankfully, the midwives are so wonderful and comforting. She suggested that we just take this day by day. Today, they learned that my baby is just fine and so there is no risk to staying pregnant for a few more days. I'll go in for more testing on Tuesday and we'll go from there.
It's all very scary. I want to have this baby naturally, but I don't want to put her at increased risk by going that route. I hope to get a better handle on the risk levels of a VBAC with my "condition" at my next appt. Rowdy is starting to worry that I am too focused on a natural birth. I am completely confused. Trying to concentrate on my current job which is too get adequate sleep, clear my head and hopefully shed some of this anxiety so I can think clearer about the best way forward. I just wish everything was normal.......
So, the good news that I keep repeating over and over to myself is that our daughter is doing great and seems totally healthy and happy inside my belly. That is sooo very comforting.
The part that I am trying to process is that I continue to measure large for fluid. This last test went up significantly. I don't really know how accurate the measurements are, especially those done by different technicians. But, the number seemed to worry the OB at the ultrasound clinic and she launched into a whole laundry list of risks and possible problems that could be causing this condition. Because Cody was there (with Cynthia and Greta too), I held it together throughout her interpretation of the results.
As soon as we were out of the room, I called the midwife on call and totally lost it on the phone. I ended up in their office crying like a fountain. Thankfully, the midwives are so wonderful and comforting. She suggested that we just take this day by day. Today, they learned that my baby is just fine and so there is no risk to staying pregnant for a few more days. I'll go in for more testing on Tuesday and we'll go from there.
It's all very scary. I want to have this baby naturally, but I don't want to put her at increased risk by going that route. I hope to get a better handle on the risk levels of a VBAC with my "condition" at my next appt. Rowdy is starting to worry that I am too focused on a natural birth. I am completely confused. Trying to concentrate on my current job which is too get adequate sleep, clear my head and hopefully shed some of this anxiety so I can think clearer about the best way forward. I just wish everything was normal.......
Friday, August 27, 2010
De Ja Vu - 36 weeks
Had a growth ultrasound today to estimate how big our little girl is. Drum roll please.... estimate is 7 pounds, 6 ounces. That was slightly lower than my fears, so I was actually relieved. It was neat to see her moving around and opening and closing her mouth. She seems very healthy and even has cute little round cheeks.
Unfortunately, my fluid level was also measuring above average (just like with Cody), so our midwives want to monitor her more closely every week to make sure everything is OK. That means a non-stress test and growth ultrasound every week. Ugh. I fear that will be too much information that could be used to insert doubt about whether I can birth our daughter naturally. I trust our midwives, so I'm trying to process what I have learned from them and stay positive about the tests that they feel are a good idea. However, I feel like this situation is all too familiar and it is hard not to remember how the same scenario played out at the end of my first pregnancy.
Thankfully our doula, Sadie, is helping me remain calm and focused on a natural childbirth. She believes in me and my body to birth my daughter. I will double my efforts to make sure I am doing what I can to help encourage labor. I think the key is going to be getting baby to drop lower despite the fluid, so that she can help get things moving toward a natural labor. Fingers crossed....
Unfortunately, my fluid level was also measuring above average (just like with Cody), so our midwives want to monitor her more closely every week to make sure everything is OK. That means a non-stress test and growth ultrasound every week. Ugh. I fear that will be too much information that could be used to insert doubt about whether I can birth our daughter naturally. I trust our midwives, so I'm trying to process what I have learned from them and stay positive about the tests that they feel are a good idea. However, I feel like this situation is all too familiar and it is hard not to remember how the same scenario played out at the end of my first pregnancy.
Thankfully our doula, Sadie, is helping me remain calm and focused on a natural childbirth. She believes in me and my body to birth my daughter. I will double my efforts to make sure I am doing what I can to help encourage labor. I think the key is going to be getting baby to drop lower despite the fluid, so that she can help get things moving toward a natural labor. Fingers crossed....
Thursday, August 26, 2010
One month and counting! - 36 weeks
This is all starting to seem very real......
Our little baby girl is going to emerge into the wide wide world very soon. And because our midwives think she is on the big side of average, they would prefer her not to delay like her big brother. I have started ramping up all my efforts to help my body get ready for this process. I've been for accupuncture twice already and am drinking raspberry tea again (memories of the gallons I drank trying to encourage Cody to swim toward the light!), plus the evening primrose oil and lots of exercise. You can't say I'm not trying!
Growth ultrasound tomorrow morning to see how big they THINK she is. Always with a grain of salt, considering they were off by over 1.5 pounds with Cody's estimate. But, I fear the estimate will be large again. Even though I've still only gained 22 pounds (within my target!), my belly is measuring bigger than average by over 3 cm.
Well, I know for sure she is a strong one - I can feel it! She has a little move that I affectionately call the "doorknob" - where she sticks out a bony bit as far as she can and then rotates it around like she is searching for something (the exit door perhaps?). It is SO bizarre to watch from the outside. The knob sticks straight out of my belly over an inch!
Cody is very affectionate and protective of his little sister these days. He sings to her and hugs her and gives her lots of kisses and sherberts. He loves to feel her kick and seems genuinely impatient to meet her. I sure hope that lasts!
Now my big challenge is to actually get ready for a new baby to come into our house. I am beginning to nest and have acquired almost everything that I think we need as far as STUFF. It's the organizing and arranging part that I haven't done much of yet. Perhaps this weekend I will be inspired to kick it into high gear. At least packing a hospital bag would be a good idea!
Our little baby girl is going to emerge into the wide wide world very soon. And because our midwives think she is on the big side of average, they would prefer her not to delay like her big brother. I have started ramping up all my efforts to help my body get ready for this process. I've been for accupuncture twice already and am drinking raspberry tea again (memories of the gallons I drank trying to encourage Cody to swim toward the light!), plus the evening primrose oil and lots of exercise. You can't say I'm not trying!
Growth ultrasound tomorrow morning to see how big they THINK she is. Always with a grain of salt, considering they were off by over 1.5 pounds with Cody's estimate. But, I fear the estimate will be large again. Even though I've still only gained 22 pounds (within my target!), my belly is measuring bigger than average by over 3 cm.
Well, I know for sure she is a strong one - I can feel it! She has a little move that I affectionately call the "doorknob" - where she sticks out a bony bit as far as she can and then rotates it around like she is searching for something (the exit door perhaps?). It is SO bizarre to watch from the outside. The knob sticks straight out of my belly over an inch!
Cody is very affectionate and protective of his little sister these days. He sings to her and hugs her and gives her lots of kisses and sherberts. He loves to feel her kick and seems genuinely impatient to meet her. I sure hope that lasts!
Now my big challenge is to actually get ready for a new baby to come into our house. I am beginning to nest and have acquired almost everything that I think we need as far as STUFF. It's the organizing and arranging part that I haven't done much of yet. Perhaps this weekend I will be inspired to kick it into high gear. At least packing a hospital bag would be a good idea!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Beach Therapy - 31 weeks
Just back from a beach vacation in Pacific City with mom and Lori. It was exactly what the doctor ordered - lots of sleep, yummy food, puzzles (the grown up kind!), Carcassone, and frolicking on the beach. We relaxed alot and played with Cody. He was in heaven! Climbing to the top of the dune at Cape Kiwanda was a big highlight. I can't believe he made it that high. Or me with my big belly for that matter!
Mom, Lori and I splurged on a day of shopping in Lincoln City. I got lots of clothes to help me feel a little pretty pregnant for the rest of the summer. Might be a wee bit extravagant, but I am soooo happy to have new bras and clothes that actually fit me and my baby bump. It puts me in a better mood. That's my justification, so there.
Came home to a whole new kitchen. Rowdy orchestrated new counter tops, sink, and re-finished cabinets to happen while we were out of town. It looks lovely. I am still in shock that the black and white geofunk pattern is actually gone! It took us 8 years to do what we swore we would do before we ever moved in, but we finally staked our claim to our house officially by getting rid of those crazy counters! Wahoo!!
Mom, Lori and I splurged on a day of shopping in Lincoln City. I got lots of clothes to help me feel a little pretty pregnant for the rest of the summer. Might be a wee bit extravagant, but I am soooo happy to have new bras and clothes that actually fit me and my baby bump. It puts me in a better mood. That's my justification, so there.
Came home to a whole new kitchen. Rowdy orchestrated new counter tops, sink, and re-finished cabinets to happen while we were out of town. It looks lovely. I am still in shock that the black and white geofunk pattern is actually gone! It took us 8 years to do what we swore we would do before we ever moved in, but we finally staked our claim to our house officially by getting rid of those crazy counters! Wahoo!!
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